Conversations Had or Heard – Part One – Public Transport

Background: my brother, The Artist, is an amazing mind who builds sculptures the size of garages and out of anything at hand is studying at TAFE. While his artistic works and general knowledge are impeccable, sometimes his organisation of ideas into an assignment format is a little confused. So, once he does the work, my Mum helps him arrange it into readable chunks.

7:24am. Tuesday morning. 14 million people in a crowded train carriage.

My phone rings. Already embarrassed, I hunt around in my Mary Poppins handbag. Phone located, I see that it’s my Mum. Why would my Mum call me at a time when she knows I am in a busy train carriage?

“Hello?”

“Hi, sorry, I know you’re probably on your way to work. How do you spell ‘suicide’?”

I lower my voice to a whisper. “Uh… S U I…”

I can feel the enquiring glace of other commuters around me.

“Hang on a sec. I FED THE CAT! DON’T FEED HER AGAIN, SHE’LL VOMIT EVERYWHERE. REALLY, SHE’S NOT HUNGRY. SHE’S GOT NO CONTROL AND WON’T STOP EATING. Right, go on.”

I’m certain everyone in the carriage has heard this detailed account of the cat’s eating disorder. I’m also certain that my Dad will go ahead and sneak the cat some extra chow, only to find that she will throw up shortly after.

“C I D E.” Now I am really feeling targeted and have spotted a few questioning eyes.

“I thought so. I just wanted to check. I am helping The Artist with a TAFE assignment. We’re up to July 27 1890, when Van Gough went off into a field and shot himself with a revolver.”

Thanks Mum, very informative.

“Ok, well I better go.”

“ Thanks for your help love.”

Ah, nothing like an injection of domestic bliss in the morning. Since this day I have made quite a point of flipping that silent switch before I mind the gap.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Conversations Had or Heard – Part One – Public Transport

  1. Brilliant, this made me laugh. A fairly normal conversation at your mum’s end could sound so bizarre to a bystander! Thanks for joining up with Write On Wednesdays, I am really looking forward to reading more from you, perhaps we will get some Hunter S Thompson inspired pieces from you??!

    We actually did an exercise a few weeks ago called Dialogue Detective and it was pretty much what you have done in this post. Eavesdropping and writing down a bit of dialogue

    Gill

  2. Hi Gill, I’m glad it made you laugh! I am sure Hunter S Thompson will cause an inspiration or three.

    All linked up for Write on Wednesdays now, I’m very excited to be involved! Dialogue Detective sounds like it would fit me like a glove.

    Alex

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s